A Prayer..

God, you are truly almighty. Take away this pain and regret. Make me new and help me walk in the correct way, to guide me through my life to your will. Though I will face many different trials and temptations, be my shield and counselor. I pray that you would be by my side through thick and thin, sin and toil, and love and kindness. I love you God. You have a perfect will. Help me line my life for you and to be your witness.

Amen.

Latest Journal Entry - Needing God Through Troublesome Times

So lets see...

Back in February of 2009, I had started a relationship with a girl that lasted 8-9 months. It was ungodly and behind my parent's back. They tried stopping it three times but I continued after each. On the fourth time they succeeded and took away all privileges and everything. So the relationship slowly faded away. I also realized that the girl didn't really love me because she immediately started dating guys like crazy after me. This broke my heart yet made me thankful that I wasn't in a relationship with her. I am glad my parents got me out of it. I was extremely rebellious to my parents, I was sinning against God, and I was a jerk to everyone and my family during that time. The only thing I learned in that 8-9 months was how to do a better job of sneaking around. That was terrible and extremely sinful on my part. Because of that it was easier to do it again in a different relationship.

After a month or two of staying out of a relationship and trying to do good again, I had started another relationship. It started by chatting on Gmail and the conversations slowly got more intimate and more personal. Then after a month or two of that I had asked her if she loved me. That is where it got bad. This relationship lasted 10 months and during this relationship I gave more of my heart, more of my time, and more of my energy and thoughts. At the same time I was trying to focus on college and God. Evidently the relationship took the number one position on everything. It was again behind my parents backs but this time they had no idea for 9 months. During this time I got my first kiss. We also shared our virginity with each other. At the time, this was amazing to me and it was a sign of true love in my sinful eyes. We thought we loved each other and we did, but this was not a Godly kind of love. It was a sinful worldly kind of love. It was probably more lust than love. I now regret loosing my virginity and this was about 2 weeks ago that they caught us. Before they caught us we knew that it was fornication and that it was a major sin. We didn't have God in us and I believe that because of that it was easier for that to happen. I am not using that as an excuse because it was certainly a choice, but its also what happens when God is not in your life. This relationship was on a totally different level then the last one, but the common thing in both were, they were formed out of a worldly lust and view and they were complete rebellion and sin. This one ended with my parents almost having to stop the ministry, which would have been really bad for this town. My dad does tons of work for this town and using my dad and mom, God has changed this town tremendously. If they had stopped then this whole town would have slowly got worse I believe. But, God is now doing a work in my life.

My parents sat down with me the night they found out and I confessed everything. They had a hard time believing it was everything because of how many times I had broken their trust in the past and I don't blame them for it. They talked to me about what I should have done and about why it was wrong and they have helped me a lot. I still look at them and can't believe they still love me. I have made some very bad mistakes and I wouldn't have known how to deal with a child either without making himself feeling so bad that he commits suicide. They are so amazing and God works through them in many mighty ways. I am glad that God has never left me through this time. Without him continuing to be refreshed in my mind and to be constantly reminded of him, then I think I would be in a much worse spot than I am now.

One of my biggest problems now is getting over this other girl. I am still feeling attached to her and if I didn't still feel attached it all would have been false and fake for 10 months but I knew it wasn't. I wish that I had not lead her into sin and that she was still pure before God, but now I have helped her loose each other's purity and it tears me up inside. I just wish now that God would be speaking to her and helping her through her tough times. I feel very responsible for what happened considering I was the one who started the whole "relationship", but it was a choice on both our parts so its not only my fault. I also believe that it is kind of part of the consequence of a sinful relationship that I can't get her off my mind. I just ask God to take away those thoughts because that is not what I am supposed to be focussing on right now. I hope his will is the result of all this. I do not want to fall into this trap again and I don't want to forsake him. yet I don't want to leave someone hurt and ruined because of a choice I was involved in. It would leave tons of guilt on me and I already feel very guilty.

The reason I am writing this is because its good to get all this out of my system and the Bible says: "Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working." James 5:16 (ESV)

PK Retreat '10

September 27th, 2010 I went to Pastor Kids Retreat.

When I first arrived we all instantly played games. After games for a little bit we went and settled our stuff in the cabins and then went to our camp opening meeting. After the camp opening we ate lunch and started getting used to the place. I met a few really cool guys and we played guitar and hung out during the whole camp. The first meeting we repented our sins and met with God for forgiveness. That night I felt really refreshed and much better. The next day we had a meeting about getting ready for our date with God. If you knew you were going on a date with a girl or guy that you really liked you would be thinking about it all day and be getting yourself ready for it. We learned that thats the same way we should think about our dates with God. Then that night we went on our date with God. It was awesome and very refreshing and he lifted the burden that was upon us pastor kids. The next morning we focused on how we need to take the stand and unite and fight back the enemy with God. Then the camp ended the 29th. The retreat was filled with games, snacks, friends, relaxation, and most importantly God.

Can't wait until next year!

School again...

Well, school has started and it has not really changed. Its the same old same old, just a little bit harder. School for us this year is taking place in our house which is quite cool because some of our friends are doing it with us. It makes it a lot better and more fun.

Since the last time I have posted I have found some new hobbies. One of them is StarCraft 2. It is a Strategy game made by Blizzard and it is extremely fun if you like Real Time Strategy games (games where you control almost like a city with little army dudes and go kill other cities or just economy games like that). I don't know what it is but those games are just so fun! Maybe its because God called me to be a leader and I just love strategy and leading... Ha ha. If anyone reading this blog has a StarCraft 2 account then please send me an email. Another one of my soon to be hobbies is the iPod Touch 4g that I have been waiting for, for so long! I literally have been waiting for an iPod Touch with a camera since before the 3g... So Yah now that they have that. I am going to buy one soon.

News on my car: Well... Good news and Bad news. I got the oil pan off and now I need to somehow get it out of the way. But to do that I need to unbolt a couple parts off the axle to drop it down or I need to lift the engine. I am going for the axle thing because it sounds easiest. So yah... All I need is some time and motivation. And I think I have time. I just use it for Farmville and StarCraft 2. Probably Shouldn't be using my time for that though.

Also If you want you can check out my Youtube channel: http://www.youtube.com/personwithak
It has some new videos every once in a while.

My Car

Well, I just got a new car. Its an AMC Eagle. They are pretty sweet! I changed the steering wheel on it yesterday to a racing styled one and now I have to take the oil pan off so I can replace the rear main seal. Then it wont eat through gas so much. I am getting excited about summer. Once I get my license I will be able to drive around anywhere in my new car! Hopefully summer won't fly by very fast. Lately I have had lots of fun with Tien', Min, and Auston. I wish Tien' didn't have to leave. I am going to miss him a lot! We are having lots of fun before he leaves which is in like 1-2 days. The Min Leaves the 17th. And then the Rich's leave the 21st! Everyone is leaving.... :( I hope this schooling program that my mom is setting up called ONVI is going to work well. It sounds awesome and we might do some good stuff for the town. Oh and I recently painted my room. It is pretty cool. Toady I am going to try and get more bolts off of my car, and also I am going to try and break up more cement in the back yard.

Gandalf's experience.

Gandalf recently went to the vet because he got himself really sick. He had some sort of cold and then started having trouble breathing. The vet said that there are 6 different types of levels of heart murmurs. 1 being not a big deal and 6 being close to death. He has a level 6 heart murmur. I was really scared when I heard this. Fortunately, she says that it isn't contributing to his sickness. She gave us some medicine and we have to give to him twice a day until it runs out. He is getting much better! Here is a video of a week later.


This is compared to laying on the ground breathing hard, moving hardly at all and not eating.

Thank you God!

Gandalf Pics

A day at Spokane

Well... Monday 12/16/10 I went to spokane with Auston Rich, Min, and Martha Cook. Auston stayed the night sunday and since it was President's Day on monday we got up at 7:30 to go to Martha's house to leave. We left around 9 and we wanted to leave around 8 but oh well. The ride over was good and when we got to spokane we went shopping at the River view mall which didn't have a lot of what we were looking for, but we decided to look around anyway. We went to that mall specifically to watch Avatar, my new favorite movie. We watched Avatar on the big IMAX screen and in 3D which I've never done, either of those. It was truly a new and exciting experience! I am definitely going to get the movie when it comes out on iTunes. After Avatar we went to the North Town Mall and Auston bought StarCraft(computer game) and then we went all around the mall being bored while Martha went to Costco. We all went to Walmart on the way home and Min and I bought StarCraft there. Now all three of us (Min, Auston and I) have StarCraft and we are going to play online together more often. Our drive home was safe, just like the one going there. I had an awesome day hanging out with Min and Auston and I can't wait until we do it again!

Past Week

So my past week has been pretty cool. Wednesday I went to the school and helped Sansei Brian teach kids Jujitsu (Martial Art) at the school for P.E.. I worked with some of the older guys and it was a very interesting experience teaching guys that are older then me, especially since they normally are the ones teaching me. I also went to youth and learned how we can trust God even though we can't see him. Thursday I went to Jujitsu and I was surprised that I made my dad tap out when we grappled. But I'm sure if he really wanted to he could make me tap. Friday I went to Outdoor Ed. Saturday I went to a men's breakfast with Seong Min (Korean Exchange Student) in Colville at the Colville Assembly of God. Then we went home and went to a basket ball game that was amazing! Best game of the season. I was on JV and we won by like 30 pts and the GV lost by like 20 pts and the BV won by like 10 pts. It was my best game of the season, even though I only made one basket. It also was the last game for JV of the season. Sunday I went to a game night thing at our church with a few friends and we had an awesome time! Today I read Numbers 11. It talked about how the Israelites were complaining and then Moses was upset that God is giving him all that weight and so then God gave some of it to the other leaders. Its a pretty cool chapter. I am going to guitar lessons again finally, yea!!!!!

A day at SMOS

Today I went up Sivercrown Mountain for Silvercrown Mountain Outdoor School. It is a class every friday that I do. I go with Weslie Hegel, Emitt Simmons, Tyler McGee, Kita Ward, Bethanne Kelley (My Sister), Paul Kelley (My Brother), Leland Brodahl, Josiah Arrell, Mike McGee (Tyler's dad), and Gerhard Carlson. Its definitely an energetic bunch. We built fires today in groups of 2. Leland and I were in one group and We got our fire built in 2 matches in the snow without using paper, birch bark or pitch. I may become the tech guy for SMOS which means I will be the website editor and builder. Bryan Carlson (Gerhard's Son) might teach me how to work the website. I can't wait, it'll be a really good learning experience, since thats what I'm going to go to college to do. The website is http://www.exploresmos.org/. Here's a video of us having a little fun on ice.

The daily

This last week has been alright. I got to see my friend Gabe. He moved to Phoenix Arizona recently. Then he came back to say good-bye and that was cool. We went up to outdoor ed on friday and that was cool. We traveled down the canyon at Mr. Carlson's house. I can't wait until we get to rock climb up there. Its so beautiful.

I'm starting to like Amber Caparas, the American Idol contestant. She is one christian who is on fire for God and now is in the spotlight of america. She has some power right now, that is so cool.

Basket ball has been ok. We recently lost against St. George. They are pretty good. We lost by like 40 points. It was bad. If you follow me on Twitter you would know. My username is 15Kenneth15.

I'm going to sum my post up with a really funny joke:

A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from LA to NY. The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game? The blonde, tired, just wants to take a nap. Politely she declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun.

He explains, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5.00, and vise versa."

Again, she declines and tries to get some sleep. The lawyer, now agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5.00, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500.00." This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game.

The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?" The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls out a $5.00 bill and hands it to the lawyer.

"Okay," says the lawyer," your turn." She asks the lawyer, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?" The lawyer, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references. No answer. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the Internet and the Library of Congress. No answer. Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends and coworkers, to no avail. After an hour, he wakes the blonde and hands her $500.00.

The blonde says, "Thank you," puts her head on the pillow and goes back to sleep.

The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks, "Well, what's the answer?" Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5.00, and goes back to sleep.

Kenneth

Are you ready to drive yet?

Yesterday, my mom, sister and I were in Colville all day. We went to church and beth went to her volleyball practice. Through the entire day I was reading those Washington Driver Guides. My mom really really wants me to be able to drive. She was wishing the entire day that I had my drivers license. I was able to drive except just recently my permit expired, so I couldn't. Now my mom wants me to go in and get my license. I really want to get my license but at the same time, I haven't driven in like 2 months. I don't want to fail the Driving Test. I am still catching up on some reading for the test. But, I am still nervous about the test.

Kenny

Thoughts...

Lately my thoughts have been wildly going everywhere. It almost seems uncontrollable. I could be doing my history during school and learning about how the land is formed, and then all of the sudden I'd be thinking about the Ancient Language of the Elves in Lord of the Rings without even realizing it. My mind just trails off course so quickly. I think that has been my major issue lately. I keep getting sidetracked. I just have to keep my focus on God. Whenever I get depressed about what I am thinking about (forgetting what I'm thinking about is not what I should be thinking about) I just have to realize why I am depressed or feeling wrong and focus back on God. It works every time, too! Imagine that. God has been helping me a lot lately on not focusing about the past, but on the future, on the man I am to become. I am so thankful that God is always there for me in my times of troubles and depression. Thanks, God.

Passing On....day by day

Another day gone well! I had an excellent time teaching kids at spanish today. Even though they were the tough one's today. We get 4 different age groups of kids and somehow the older ones are more rebellious......hmm.... I just got signed up for my new online college course for the second semester of spanish. Thank you mom for all the hard work you do for me on helping me get signed up for classes and just all my schoolwork stuff. I am truly blessed to have a mother like you! I can't wait to see what God wants to use me for with all this spanish. Maybe I'll be a famous mexican song writer and singer. I actually wouldn't mind doing that and I'm sure my mom wouldn't mind either! Today me and my dad started our workout schedule that we are doing together. Yesterday we finished our maxes and today we did 3 sets of 12 on each workout, and there are 12 workouts. It all is done on the BowFlex that we have. They are pretty handy workout machines, and it is a good reminder of how out of shape I got over winter break. But I am determined to fix that.

Kenny

Just another day...

Well, today was my first day working out with my dad. I really enjoyed it! I'm not like surprised but I just think its cool. He comes with me to the school now when I go to teach spanish so I am spending a lot more time with him. It will give us a chance to build up our father-son relationship more. I am glad I will be spending more time with him and God. I am so excited to see what God has in store for me. I am reading an email devotional that automatically sends it to my email. It is called The Rebelution and their website is http://www.therebelution.com/ and I really like it.

My iMac

Wow! Ok, my new computer....ROCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yah.....Its a New iMac 21.5 in. and it has a wireless keyboard and mouse.
btw thanks Mom, Dad, Grandma, and Grandpa for helping out a ton on buying it....Love you all! Not just for this.......lol

Kenny

New Year's Eve

Hi all!! Guess what!!!!! Its New Years Eve, the last day of 2009. I think this year has been one of the most important of my life. I have learned so much since December 31, 2008. I am excited for this coming year and I can't wait to see what God has instore for me.

Kenny

So......yah

Well.....I just recently got busted but I don't want to get into details, I am now doing all my schoolwork from my home with my dad (historchbearer.blogspot.com) and I will be working on my relationship between God and me. I am actually very happy that I will be doing this. These past days in winter break have been very long, boring and depressing and I think this past week has been the longest week of the year.....or it seems so. I posted some signs around Northport about snow shoveling and wood splitting and stuff like that so I can earn some money. I am also getting paid for working at the school and teaching little kids spanish. I am learning a lot from them as they are learning from me. Every little kid at the school tells me "Hola, Señor Kenny" as they pass me to class. I love teaching them.

Kenny

Just the latest update...

Well, school has started! Why! No! Ugh! Well, ok ok.....its not that bad. I am actually enjoying school this year....so far. I am playing soccer on the Northport Team and I am having fun. Even though it took me a bit to get signed up...Lol. I am hoping my dad is doing alright in Kenya and everything is fine! This Classlink thing that my mom set up in school is really nice! I love my mom!

Stay tuned,
Kenneth

My trip at 2......

Got up at 2:00 am this morning! We drove our dad to the airport in Spokane. He is leaving for a X-treme Team Event in Kenya! He is an awesome dad an I hope he has a safe trip. I drove for the first time on a freeway. It was kinda scary but fun at the same time. We stayed at Wal-Mart for like 3 hours waiting for stores to open....Lol. I drove home and then switched with my mom at Colville. I am going to miss you dad!

I love my Dad!
Kenneth